Too much is how I love you, but too well is how I know you
I’m sitting in the bottom, most sketchy floor of the library with Justin… he’s supposed to be doing work, I’m really just here to novel.
Rather than novelling, however, I’m posting on how I just came to the realization that Isterya (my main character) is me. Not literally, obviously, and I didn’t even notice it until I wrote her reaction to something in particular, and it became really clear that we share most major character traits.
I know that doesn’t seem all that interesting, unless you know that only very rarely do my characters share anything at all in common with me. Sometimes (infrequently) we share a physical characteristic or two (e.g. hair or skin color), but almost never personality traits.
It’s interesting because she’s kind of grown into a weak character toward the beginning, but changes with time, as I have. The thing is, even once she’s developed a stronger sense of self, it’s a very quiet confidence, non-argumentative, interested only in accomplishing what needs to be accomplished, not fighting about nit-picky details, which is essentially what I perceive myself to have become in the last year or so.
My main characters used to be far more obviously strong, but I feel like it’s more interesting and multi-dimensional that she’s not always as bold or outspoken as she needs to be, that she’s more submissive sometimes than she ought to be, that she sometimes assumes that other people are right because she doesn’t know enough.
NaNoWriMo is going to be a real challenge to actually finish, with how much work I have to do in the next few weeks, and the lack of free time I’m liable to have during Thanksgiving Break, but even if I don’t finish, I’m glad I started. I’ll have the basis of a novel I have all the time in the world to finish, and I restarted something I love, and hopefully I’ve improved. I’ve certainly discovered ways in which my character development has evolved.
This is going to sound really strange and somewhat egotistical, although it’s not meant to; there are just certain facets of my personality and interests that I adore. I’m really glad I’m artistic and that I love to learn… and I’m just lucky enough to be that way, I guess. It’s not that there aren’t characteristics I would love to have, but there are some things that I really love in other people that I’m just now realizing that I hold myself.
I’m writing a novel. In November. That’s pretty cool. Even if it’s nerdy.
I love Jenny. For reminding me about it, amongst other things.
